I Live!

I am safe and sound at my Grandparents. The apartment is small and now cramped cause the Whirlwind that is me is now in their presence. LOL! They are used to dead silence, come these are two people that spend their day ignoring each other. I make jokes and no one gets them. I even said 'Come on people, a little sense of humor in your life is good'. Can't get a giggle. Damn.

To think it's too late for them to get some kind of counseling **rolls eyes** if it was completely unethical I would advocate to slipping some anti-depressants into the food. Right now my typing is the only noise in the whole place. It's a morgue! If there was no rug, YOU WOULD HEAR A PIN DROP!

UGH!!

As you can tell I am in good spirits considering/or rather in spite of what life has thrown my way. Technically homeless, but I will spend the next few months most likely being shuffled amongst the spare bedrooms of various relatives who all live in the general area. Everyone is determined that as long as I am committed to getting through college this time around and the grants are still being given to me (thank you to whatever angel is looking out for me on the whole school thing) that it is the #1 priority to keep me in college. It's a vicious cycle, if one has to work to pay the bills: rent and everything that goes along with it, you will need to work-full time and what's the bigger priority then? Keeping your job at all cost to keep a roof over your head? Or school? I have a history of going into survival mode, and choosing the job over myself and my well-being. That is why school is so important this time around. I have been working so hard to work ON MYSELF. I have been actually changing my patterns on how I react/relate to things. It's hard, but if you a pattern of making decisions that aren't in your absolute best interest, you must change them.

Why put a boss' whims ahead of your well-being? Cause you know most will given the opportunity to get something they want, they will take it, and keep taking. You are not their priority! They are their own priority. Take care of yourself. No one else will do it for you.

:)